Not waking up at 6:30am

Early this morning I woke up briefly, it was 6:30am—yes, that’s early morning for me—and heard very faint shower noises. I usually don’t hear anything from my neighbors, but probably because it was so quiet otherwise, I realized that one of my neighbors had to get up now.

And then I remembered that I used to have to get up at about that time when I went to school. To be exact, I always got up at precisely 6:55am. My morning was always timed to the minute to get the most sleep out of it. The whole family had to coordinate who was in the bathroom at what time. I actually went to bed for another 15 minutes after taking a shower, just to make the most out of every minute of sleep.

And as I laid in bed this morning, remembering all of this because of those faint shower sounds, I just felt at ease. Because instead of having to get up at 6:55, I get to sleep for another 2 hours. If I wanted to, even longer. I was never a morning person, I didn’t like going to school and I had to struggle to get out of bed every morning. Especially when it was fall or winter, because it was still dark outside, and then I had to get out in the cold, hop on my bike and cycle through the cold breeze, to sit in a classroom which was often just a container on our school yard because our school was too small for the number of students they had, and that container was never very comfortable or cozy. Even though I actually really like fall and winter.

It reminded me that I had made it. By “it” I don’t mean everything I want to accomplish in life, but at least this one thing. I no longer have to struggle to get out of bed in the morning. I can enjoy the moody and gloomy mornings. When it gets a little colder at night and you can just wrap yourself up a little more in your blanket. When everything is a bit more quiet and chill. I get up, I’m in my own apartment. I do my morning routine, I make myself an oat milk cappuccino, I sit down in my little home office and start working. Working on things I’m passionate about. I’m doing what I want to do in life and I am enjoying it.

With a smile on my face, wrapped in my blanket, knowing that it’s still dark(ish) and quiet and cold outside, I fell asleep again and just had a really nice, mindful, enjoyable morning.